For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
