3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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