she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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