erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Randomize
