After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
