yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Randomize
