fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
