i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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