id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
