your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
