Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
