What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Randomize
