i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Randomize
