My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
