ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Randomize
