Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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