I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
