Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize