i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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