Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
