Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
