when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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