Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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