I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
