some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
