Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
