you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
