Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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