We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I just gargled with NyQuil
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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