Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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