I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
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