Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
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