wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
