Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Randomize
