The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize