I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
