Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Randomize
