..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
hell yes lets make some ravioli
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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