The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
