i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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