Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I would ride that face into the sunset
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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