She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
