real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
