its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
How's work?
Spinning.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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