he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I think i got beer on your cat.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
