I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I need a beard to bite.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
My vagina is very pro this idea
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
