At least make sure they are 18
Why
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
