i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
