I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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