She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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