she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
