i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
