1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I think your dad took our porno
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
