Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
