Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
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