google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Randomize
