my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
