no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
