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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".

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• (917): View more from New York City

  someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.

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• (434): View more from Virginia

  At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still

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• (917): View more from New York City

  On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests

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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.

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• (602): View more from Arizona

  Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right

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• (408): View more from California

  if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.

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• (310): View more from California

  He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing

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• (425): View more from Washington

  Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.

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• (520): View more from Arizona

  I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?

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• (316): View more from Kansas

  Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl

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