google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
