How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize