At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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