I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
