he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
