Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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