she's into porn, im staying here tonight
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
